Boundaries are rooted in clear communications with parents, friends, coworkers and strangers.
Without limits, we frequently deal with feeling burdened by how others perceive us because of a desire to appease others, struggle with speaking our truths to others out of a fear of being rejected or made to look foolish, and strive to please everyone with our performance at work, in school, at home, etc.
Here’s how to set boundaries that maintain your physical, mental, and emotional health while promoting healthy relationships at work, home, and in social environments.
What are healthy boundaries?
Healthy boundaries are the limitations you set around your time, emotions, physical wellbeing, and mental well-being to maintain your resiliency, stability, and sense of self. These empowering boundaries protect you against being taken advantage of, depleted, or manipulated by others.
You can set boundaries around:
- Sexual
- Physical
- Intellectual
- Emotional
- Financial
- Morals
- Social Media
You can set boundaries with:
- Friends
- Family
- Co-Workers
- Relationships
- Strangers
Healthy boundaries are not about building a wall in between each other but it helps you communicate more clearly and let the person know what you will and won’t tolerate.
Why do we need boundaries?
We need boundaries so it can help with our emotional and mental health. Setting boundaries is self-care. It respects our needs and desires so that we feel valued and comfortable. And these boundaries help in defining what you will accept and what you choose to reject.
A personal example:
I used to be a people pleaser my whole life. I used to let people take advantage of me, use me, and treat me a certain way because it scared me to speak up because of past trauma.
One day I started having boundaries and let people know how I felt. If the person feels a certain way and don’t respect me, then I end the relationship because I care about my mental and emotional health.
Sometimes you can’t please everyone, and that’s okay. Therefore, healthy boundaries can help you have a balance life and healthier relationships.
How to begin setting boundaries
We need boundaries so it can help with our emotional and mental health. Setting boundaries is self-care. It respects our needs and desires so that we feel valued and comfortable. And these boundaries help in defining what you will accept and what you choose to reject.
A personal example:
I used to be a people pleaser my whole life. I used to let people take advantage of me, use me, and treat me a certain way because it scared me to speak up because of past trauma.
One day I started having boundaries and let people know how I felt. If the person feels a certain way and don’t respect me, then I end the relationship because I care about my mental and emotional health.
Sometimes you can’t please everyone, and that’s okay. Therefore, healthy boundaries can help you have a balance life and healthier relationships.
Ask yourself, why are you setting these boundaries? Is it because you have unnecessary stress? You don’t feel valued enough? Or do you feel unsafe? Here are some examples:
You like to save money, and you have a friend who does not but wants you to give them your money, and you don’t want to.
Your parents are pressuring you to have a child, but you’re not ready.
Asking personal questions in front of others instead of asking privately.
5 techniques for maintaining healthy boundaries
Self-awareness – You need to know how you feel about things and what your boundaries are.
Communicate – Express your desires with other people and know where you stand.
It’s okay to say no – It is a lifelong habit that we must diligently maintain in order to accomplish our goals in both work and life. It is not something that should be done only sometimes.
Personal time – Never feel guilty wanting personal time for yourself.
Be consistent – Attempt to keep things consistent. This reinforces your original thresholds and values and ensures those borders remain firmly defined.
Benefits of healthy boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries enables you to express your thoughts and feelings in a way that effectively expresses your needs.
Benefits of healthy boundaries provide the following advantages:
• You effectively listen and see other people’s points of view while maintaining your own.
• You show self-respect by standing your ground.
• You avoid future disagreements and anger.
• You impose acceptable punishments for boundary violations.
Conclusion
Boundaries help us be aware of ourselves and our relationships. They’re important for self-care and making yourself a priority.
If you feel you’re unhappy, resentful, insecure in relationships, being taken advantage of, or losing a sense of identity, think about whether you have unhealthy boundaries and consider setting healthy ones.
You’re not perfect, but it’s a great start. Remember, saying no is not a bad thing.
Don’t forget to check out my other blog post here.